Gods Plan Not Mine

Without you women?  Seriously.  Technically next to strangers, yet some of the dearest people who have blessed me w/your kindness & support.  I never dreamed I'd be here again & I am so so very thankful for your continued love & support during the loss of our precious Poppy.  There were times I wondered if keeping this blog made sense.  I don't post often & most of them are pretty boring I think.  But something told me not to.  I knew I wanted to keep up w/all of you, but never could have imagined, you would all still be there for me.  For the second time in my life, you were the few who understood, made me feel better & helped me to survive this sad time.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  If I could, I would show up at each of your doorsteps & give you the worlds biggest hugs.  I love you ladies dearly & am so thankful God has led us to become friends.

As for how I am doing; I'm getting there.  The D&S was definitely the best decision & I'm glad you all helped me to make it.  I am still spotting here & there but no more cramps.  I wasn't allowed to pick Addy up from after the surgery on Fri until Mon, so that was not easy nor fun.  I just wanted her in my arms the whole time.  She has made this not so hard.  Her silly ways & smiles just bring me a peace that nothing else or no one else can.  If possible, I've grown to love her even more!  We go back on the 24th for a check up to make sure all is ok, then back to the RE we go.  It is hard to be w/a different RE, but I will remain hopeful that they rock as much as my other Dr's did.  The perintologist office was lovely & very kind through the whole thing.  I'm grateful for that.  For now I have taken Poppy's sono pics & tucked them away.  I hope to do something with them to memorialize him/her. 

Speaking of remembering.  Today is the due date of our first loss.  This day is always special as it is one day before National Pregnancy Loss & Awareness Day.  We have a special candle we bought for the first one & every due date, miscarriage date & 10/15, we burn it.  I keep it up though, I'm gonna need a bigger candle.  But we will be burning it tonight in memory of our first loss & tomorrow during the 7:00 hour for all three. 

Ok I am done rambling.  I really am grateful for this community & hope that I can be even as small of a light in darkness as you have all been to me.  God Bless.