We found out we lost our precious Poppy today. After last week's sono & all the bad news I felt very strongly that this was going to be the outcome, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier. My heart is just breaking & I'm at a loss as to what to even feel. Part of me is relieved, as horrible as that may sound, that all of this living week by week is over. But I just wanted more than ever to be blessed w/another precious miracle. S/he was only measuring @ 9 wks (I'm supposed to be 10 today) & I have to make the impossible decision to loss the baby naturally at home or get a D&C. I just never thought I would be here again. I lost our other two angels so much earlier that I just went through it at home. But the idea of seeing this little one when it passes seems like more than I can bare. I just don't know if a D&C is for me. I'm terrified of scarring or something going wrong. I just don't know what I want. Ladies please weigh in & share your experiences w/me. I just need a little guidance today. Please pray for my family as we make our decision & go through this loss. I'm trying to hard to stay strong for my beautiful Addy but my heart just hurts.
2 years ago
13 comments:
Erica said...
Dawn, I am so sorry. I had sure been hoping for happy news today. I will be praying for your peace. I will say that I have had a d&c and my experience was (medically) easy and fast and not really painful. I know it sounds scary but it would be okay. Then at least you could start to heal emotionally, though you will of course never forget your Poppy, and you won't have to do any more waiting. I wish I could give you a hug!!!!
Ella said...
Dawn, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Poppy. My heart hurts for you. I don't understand why this had to happen :(
I had a D&C after my first loss, which happened at about the same time (~9wks) and I would really strongly encourage you to go that route. It is "over" (medically speaking) more quickly, most doctors will put you under for the procedure (though I would make sure they would do this beforehand - if you are comfortable with it - I would not have wanted to be awake for the procedure), and they can give you pain meds for the cramping afterwards. It is an awful decision to have to make, I am so sorry you are faced with it, Dawn. :(
Sending you (((HUGS))), positive thoughts, and prayers.
Laura said...
Oh Dawn. My heart breaks for you, and I pray that you feel God's comforting hand surround you at this time.
I agree with Erica and Ella. I've experienced all three options: 1) D&C, 2) Waiting, and 3) Cytotec. As horrible as it sounds, I remember feeling surprisingly (physically) really good after the D&C. My heart was broken, but at least my body could heal. As hard as it is to schedule a D&C, waiting for the inevitable is worse.
Praying for you.
LuckyOnce said...
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 3 D&Es (similar to D&Cs) and if I had to go through it again, I would definitely choose that option again. I agree with everything the others said about it being quick and not too painful. I was not under for mine, but was medicated with something that made me calmer and semi-sedated. (The benefit of that was that I was able to go home sooner rather than staying at the clinic.) Personally, I felt like emotionally I couldn't wait for the inevitable and continue carrying around a baby that had already died. It's a horrible decision to have to make, but I hope you have the best possible experience, whatever you decide. If you want any more detail feel free to ask.
Melis.sa said...
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have been praying for you guys for weeks.
I had a natural miscarriage at a little over 8 weeks and it was awful. Basically you go into labor, have contractions, it's painful, awful, you bleed a lot, you pass large clots & the baby at home. It's awful. I would go for a d&c to not have to go through all that. I couldn't believe the physical pain on top of losing the baby.
My heart goes out to you.
Tracy said...
I'm so sorry. This news just breaks my heart. Honestly, with being 10 weeks along, I'd probably go the D&C route. I've heard that it's much easier, physically, and a lot less painful.
april said...
I'm so sorry for your loss. i lost my first pregnancy at 8 weeks, and had a D and C. It was quick and I felt no pain or discomfort afterwards and recovered quickly. If you decide to go this route, one thing to ask your doctor is doing the procedure under what is called a "MAC". This stands for Monitored Anesthesia Care and basically is IV sedation and you do not remember anything. It is much safer than being put under general anesthesia. Hope that helps a little :)
Nat said...
I wish I could give you a real hug. I am so very, very sorry. I know you'll always cherish the short time you had with Poppy.
I've done both, natural and D&C. If I had to make that decision again, I'd go for the D&C. It is hard enough to have a miscarriage. You can make it easier on yourself physically. I had a perinatologist tell me that the risks of scarring are so minimal and miscarriages are so rough emotionally, that it is always better to have the D&C. There's no guarantee that you'll pass everything if you do it naturally, especially if you are further along than 6 weeks.
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and did it naturally. That sucked and I ended up in the ER, but the hardest part was a week later when my milk came in. I cried for days.
Again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the best, and hope you have a speedy recovery. At least you were able to have some time with your precious little Poppy.
{{{hugs}}}
Shandrea said...
Dawn, I am so very sorry to hear this news. My heart is breaking for you. I wish I had advice on which route to go, this is such a hard decision. I pray that God guides you and gives you the right way to go. Sending you lots of Love and Hugs right now.
CeCe said...
I am so very sorry! My thoughts and prayers and with you!
Wendy said...
I am crying and hurting with you, friend. I do not know why this had to happen to such a wonderful person agaon, it just doesn't seem fair. I hope you are able to make your decision with peace in your heart knowing that it is what is now best for you. You have done a great job caring and nurturing Poppy these past weeks but it is now your turn to be taken care of now and mourn your loss as your body slowly recovers. I will be praying for you and your family as you decide which option is best for you. Lots of hugs and let us know if you have any specific prayer requests we can uphold you with.
Alison said...
Oh, I am so so sorry. I am now just catching up on your posts. I am so very sorry :(
I had D&C's for both of my losses. I was ridden with anxiety about scarring and tried waiting but my body wouldn't budge soon enough and it was too hard. Both procedures ended up going very well, I hardly had any bleeding, and my OB's knew about my concern over scarring and told me they are super gentle and had never had patients in 15 years of doing these come back with scarring issues. After my 2nd D&C, I was pregnant within 3 months, and now have my Sophie :)
I hope that helps you make your decision. There is nothing more cruel in life than losing a pregnancy :(
Alison said...
I forgot to add - the benefit of doing a D&C is also that you can have chromosomal testing on the fetal tissue. When my 2nd D&C came back as Trisomy 22, I knew in my heart it was not meant to be and actually felt relief.