Gods Plan Not Mine

Sadly, December was not our month.  Even w/3 great mature follicles & 35 million swimmers, we got a stupid BFN on Tues & AF returned in all her glory yesterday.  I am beyond bummed but also trying to remind myself that I didn't even think we'd get to try this month.  So it was almost like a freebie.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I go in tomorrow for CD 3 bw & sono then start clomid again on Sat.  Let's hope the hotflashes aren't as bad this time around...yuck!  The one difference this time around will be that I hopefully will not be taking the progesterone suppositories.  I can't even put in to words just how much I hate them.  Because, as I've previously mentioned, I don't think I need them, they made me incredibly INCREDIBLY sick.  I had severe nausea as soon as I would use it & the world's most amazing headaches.  As you can imagine, this does not bode well with taking care of a spunky (teething) 17mo!  I hopped on Dr. Google & read up on some info that these things are common but often a result of incredibly high progesterone.  When I did clomid & IUI w/Addy they would test my progesterone levels 7dpiui & those 3 months they were never below 26!  That's pretty high if ya ask me.  I only started taking progesterone w/Poppy because my numbers had dropped.  I know the Dr is thinking it can't hurt & in the back of my mind I am scared not to do it, but I just can't spend 2 weeks feeling that bad & have it all be for nothing.  So I spoke w/the Dr & will be doing a progesterone test @ 7dpiui like I used to, and if it's high we'll be good & just test again when I go in for the HCG levels @ 14dpiui.  If it's low (which I doubt) I'll start taking them.  So basically we will monitor it like my old (great wonderful who I miss terribly) Dr did. 

In the meantime I am back to getting acupuncture & taking herbs & just doing my best to trust God's timing.  I remind myself of how we got through it before & just look @ my baby girl & feel better.  She really is just amazing.  Looks like our next IUI will be around the 20th so keep us in your prayers for a Christmas miracle.  God Bless.