Gods Plan Not Mine

After marrying my amazing husband in September of 2007 we decided we wanted to be married for at least a year before starting a family. We figured out what we thought would be a good time, taking our careers into consideration and began this crazy ride into TTC in January of this year. Thinking it would take some time we weren't really expecting the BFP that we got after the first month!!! I lost that baby at exactly 5 weeks. I had only just found out the day before I was pregnant when the cramps and spotting started. I was heartbroken of course but positive this was a one time thing. I mean that's what everyone was telling me so it must have been true. We took the month off and started trying again in March. Lo and behold I got pregnant. This time I knew for about 2 weeks and had shared the news with our families on my birthday!! I began spotting the day I went for my first appt with the Midwife and was told not to worry it was common. That night I lost our baby at 6wks 3days. Although both losses were difficult, the second one was a lot harder on me. Everybody suddenly wasn't so reassuring. And suddenly I was teetering very close to the recurrent miscarriage category (or was in it depending on who you ask).

I am now just beginning my adventure into starting a family. I am realizing that regardless of what my plans may have been, they apparently are not what God has in mind for my husband and I. My midwife suggested I see an RE which I gladly agreed with and am in the process of trying to determine if something is causing these losses. I have only recently gone and gotten way too many viles of blood drawn and am waiting for the return of AF before I go back for more tests.

During this entire process I have found support through so many other women and their blogs. I am hoping that I may be able to help someone the way that this outlet has helped me. I am also hoping that I can find a place to share what I'm feeling while going through this sad and scary process.