Gods Plan Not Mine

My Addy baby turned 5 months on Fri & now I know why everyone says time goes fast!!  I found it so cliche while pregnant!  Sometimes I feel like July was ages ago & I can barely remember her being tiny, while other times it's as though I blinked & she got bigger!  All I do know is that I am glad we got past month four!  What a hectic month!  From sleep regression, to early waking, to taking away the pacifier, it was a tough tough time.  I did however learn that raising a baby is serious trial & error!

Take the pacifier for example.  We started using it more when Addy's reflux was really bad & thought nothing of it.  Prior to this, she slept fine without it.  But silly me would give it to her even after her tummy was better & suddenly she couldn't sleep without it!  She has also extended her time between feedings & I would "top her off" before putting her down to bed.  She never had any issues falling to sleep at night.  It was almost like she knew it was nighttime.  Well I started allowing her to fall asleep while eating & would put her down.  It was just so nice to be in her room nursing & just staring at her, I didn't foresee any problems with it.  Before ya know it, she was waking up an hour after going down & wouldn't fall back asleep until she was nursed!  Or if she woke up while I was putting her in the crib...back on the boob she went!  Needless to say this was another weaning process as I don't mind her pacifying on me somewhat but this was getting out of control.

Throughout all of this I find that I often beat myself up.  Instead of working on it, I dwell on why I did the things I did & how I wish I could undo it.  Well as you can imagine this doesn't get me very far.  I have been working on this for a while now & have gotten better (but am certainly not perfect).  I have a perfectionist/control issue and that plays a huge part.  I am blessed with a gorgeous happy healthy baby girl & I am a new mommy.  I remind myself constantly that this is a learning experience for all of us & not everything will go perfect.  Please pray for me that I continue to work towards enjoying Addy every day & not dwelling on mistakes I may have made or will make.

On a less serious note, my baby girl is amazing!  She is sitting up & rolling from tummy to back.  No back to tummy yet, but I'm in no rush as she just started sleeping through the night again.  She is still in the darn swaddle, but I imagine this will end once she does roll from back to tummy.  She talks ALL THE TIME but I'm sure this is due to the fact that neither her mommy or daddy are what you would call quiet!  She is absolutely in love with bathtime (always has been) but enjoys getting wrapped up in the warm towel we put in the dryer prior to her bath more I think.  She gets this HUGE smile every time.  We have yet to introduce solids due to her allergies.  We will do that soon after the holidays.  I am both excited yet scared.  We do have an allergist appt on Fri!!!!  Hopefully we can get some definite answers about her food allergies.  So far I'm still avoiding dairy & soy & fighting to keep weight on.  I have learned an awful lot of new recipes though & am grateful for the internet & the new Whole Foods they built on the island.  Let's see what else.  Oh yes!  After only 2 days we are officially pacifier free!  Now she won't even take it!  LOL little weirdo.  No teeth yet either, but certainly teething.  She loves her Sophie Giraffe & can chew on it for hours!  Ok I think I've bored you all enough.  Hope everyone is doing well & wishing you all a Very Happy Holidays!!  God Bless.